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YOUR DOSE OF CRYPTO WISDOM AND ENTERTAINMENT

Hey, HODLers. April is officially in the books, and what a month it was. DeFi just set a grim new exploit record, a decade-old Ethereum ICO wallet woke up with a 7,381× return, Tether dropped a Bitcoin faucet, and Meta quietly started paying creators in USDC. Here's everything you need to know before the weekend.

📰 THIS WEEK’S HOT NEWS

⚠ DeFi Security

April 2026 Becomes the Most-Hacked Month in Crypto History

DeFi Llama confirmed it: April set a new record for the sheer number of exploits in a single month, 20+ separate incidents, with some trackers reporting as many as 24. Total losses exceeded $600 million, driven by two enormous breaches: Kelp DAO's $292M cross-chain bridge exploit and Drift Protocol's $285M governance attack. But the real story isn't the dollar figure, it's the shift in attack style. Hackers are now bypassing smart contracts entirely, targeting RPC nodes, admin keys, and cross-chain message layers instead.

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◈ Ethereum

An ETH ICO Wallet Just Woke Up After 11 Years — With $22.88M Inside

A wallet that sat silent since Ethereum's 2014–2015 ICO moved 10,000 ETH this week. The original buy-in? $3,100, when ETH was $0.31. At current prices that's a 7,381× return. Whale Alert and Lookonchain flagged the transfer within minutes. The funds went to a new wallet with no confirmed exchange link, suggesting this isn't a sell, at least not yet. A reminder that a meaningful chunk of early ETH supply is still sitting in cold storage, and any of it could move at any time.

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₿ Bitcoin

Tether's Bitcoin Faucet Is Live — Free Sats via Lightning

Tether launched a Bitcoin giveaway tied to its new self-custody wallet, channeling the spirit of Gavin Andresen's original 2010 faucet. The mechanic is simple: download the Tether wallet, reply to @BTC on X with your tether.me username, get ~$0.10 in sats sent instantly via Lightning. The wallet uses human-readable usernames instead of long hex addresses, supports BTC + USDT + XAUT, and is designed to onboard stablecoin users into Bitcoin custody. Tether CEO Paolo Ardoino unveiled the feature at Bitcoin 2026 in Lugano.

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◉ Polygon / Solana

Meta Is Now Paying Creators in USDC — on Solana and Polygon

Meta has quietly begun rolling out stablecoin payouts for Facebook creators, starting with Colombia and the Philippines. Eligible creators can link external wallets (MetaMask, Phantom, Binance, Bybit) and receive earnings in USDC on Solana or Polygon. Stripe handles the tax reporting layer. No built-in fiat conversion — users cash out via third-party exchanges. Polygon says the program will expand to 160+ jurisdictions. Meta paid out nearly $3 billion to creators in 2025, up 35% year-on-year, so even a small USDC slice of that is a meaningful on-chain flow.

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📈 TOP GAINERS & LOSERS

1. SKYAI (SKYAI) - jumped by 96.85% to $0.3868 this week;

2. Terra Classic (LUNC) - surged 49.31% during that time to reach a price of $0.00007558;

3. Humanity Protocol (H) - The price went up 34.21% to $0.1915.

1. MemeCore (M) - end week price of $3.11, falling this week by 32.34%.

2. World Liberty Financial (WLFI) - lost 27.02% to end the week at a price of $0.05602.

3. Official Trump (TRUMP) - finished the week down 20.37%, at $2.31;

📘 EDUCATIONAL PICK — LEARN & LEVEL UP

🐦 TWEETS OF THE WEEK

FOLLOW OUR SOCIAL MEDIA:

• X - Where Crypto Meets Comedy;

• TikTok - Investigating the Wacky World of Crypto;

• СoinMarketCap - The Wildest Ride in the Crypto Market;

• YouTube - Your Gateway to the World of Crypto.

Disclaimer: We're here to entertain, not to be your financial guru. This newsletter is purely for educational purposes and does not constitute financial advice or a magical fortune-telling session. So, grab your popcorn, enjoy the read, but remember to use your own wits and conduct thorough research before making any money moves. Stay curious, my friend!